i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
