im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
