Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Come see our sink grown plant.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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