thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
