I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
