It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
