I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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