when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
