so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
