I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
