I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
