But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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