You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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