I seem to have left my pride at pride
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize