someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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