my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
