I think i sorta joined a cult last night
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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