Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
