So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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