My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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