That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I understand Curling. That high.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
