doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
