Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
