I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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