Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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