I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
