I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
