Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
