he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
