no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
