In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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