my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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