Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
