Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
