What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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