I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
