If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
