i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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