the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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