Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
