Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
