it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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