Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
