Quick, to the slutcave!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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