I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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