It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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