Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize