My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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