i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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