I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
