I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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