I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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