Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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