Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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