I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
