I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
