I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
