Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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