i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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