Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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