she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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